Mary Chapin Carpenter sings lies

For many years Mary Chapin Carpenter’s song I Feel Lucky has been a favorite of mine. Well that came to a scuhreeching halt today! (Maybe not really, but at least for tonight.) The numbers did in fact, as we Southerners are wont to say, lie on me! And on HCRP, but I liked his lie better than mine.

We ran a course that I came up with last year when I was a fledgling runner that I just “knew” I could do “with not much problem”. Without rehashing the entire Newbie Runner Enthusiasm Fiasco let’s just say that particular course has come to be known as “Julianne’s Folly” or just “The Folly”. Sunday as we were driving home from San Antonio to Memphis we had a little time to plan our next few weeks’ runs taking into account the 5K we’re doing this Saturday night and the 10K we’re doing the 23rd and with an eye towards the longer long runs we have to do in preparation for our half-marathon in September.
We decided to run The Folly as Monday night’s short run, run the upcoming 10K course on Wednesday as our longER run, then pull another mid-distance run Friday night and then just have fun doing the 5K on Saturday.

I have to digress a second here to say how surprised I remain to hear myself talk about 5K distances as “Just a little over three miles!” and “Just a fun run”.
/End digression.

We didn’t run Monday night.
We were still fatigued and sorely dehydrated after Sunday’s thirteen hour drive.
I was wiped out from First Day On A New Job Syndrome.
Strike One.

We didn’t run Tuesday night.
Truth be told we used “too tired/too stressed” as a perfectly good excuse and went so far as to feed our tired/stressed state with cheesy-cheesy (but to our credit thin crust) pizza.
Strike Two.

And today I just flat didn’t drink enough water.
I had access to water all day long and simply wasn’t diligent about consuming it.
Strike Three.

But we came home, changed, and ran Anyway.
(It was nowhere near that philosophical or high-minded, I just love any excuse to share that quote.)

In short: My. Run. Sucked.
I was under-hydrated.
I was stiff and (yes, already) out of condition from skipping Monday’s run.
And in all honesty The Folly isn’t exactly an easy course. Lots and lots of long, long hills.
I walked, easily, as much as I ran.

And even Technology was against me!
As I was slogging along, walking up a hill I should have been running up, I decided to check my phone to see just how far I’d gone. Lo and freakin’ behold Good Old Endomondo had arbitrarily decided I had finished my run and had ended the program and was finishing the process of uploading itself at 1.72 miles!
What The What?!
So I finished the upload, restarted, and kept going.

Let me tell you what is annoying on an already bad run:

  1. Discovering that you have inadvertantly put not one but two different songs on your ipod playlist twice back-to-back with themselves.
  2. Realizing that NO amount of BodyGlide is going to make up for the bra strap pads you decided you didn’t need on a “short four mile run”.
  3. Helpful, encouraging people honking their horns as they pass you on the road when you know you are sucking at this run like you’ve never sucked at a run.
  4. Knowing with every lead-filled, failing-at-running, even-sucking-at-walking fiber of your being that you have absolutely no one to blame for this but your own dang, non-water drinking self.
  5. Resigning yourself to “Screw it, I’m just going to walk the rest of the way!” only to round a curve and see some intrepid soul running UP the hill you are walking down. This means only one thing: You simply must run. It’s run or risk looking like either the biggest slacker runner on the planet OR the most cocky, over-prepared walker on the same planet with your wicking headband, wicking running shirt (that has “RUNNER GIRL” of all things emblazoned on it), and water belt.

So you run.
And you keep running.
And you finish. Running.

And when you get to your Personal Finish Line (after shouting to your HCRP “Get out of my way!” because he has the nerve to stand on the sidewalk between you and the Driveway Finish Line) and consult your Benedict Arnold GPS program you find out it has given you credit for a combined total of only 3.58 miles which you know for certain is shorting you a good half mile.
And you wonder “If I’m so dang under-hydrated where did all this freakin’ sweat come from?!” when you realize your shorts are literally dripping down the backs of your legs.
Yes, I’m certain it was sweat.

And for the record, according to Google Pedometer the total distance I kinda-ran/halfway-walked: 4.56.
There was clearly some rip in the GPS space/time continuum since HCRP’s GPS program gave him credit for running over nine miles, many of them in four and five minutes per mile.  It was GPinSanity! 

Maybe eventually I’ll finish the post I have saved as a Draft about our Vacation Runs.
Now those? Those were some really good runs!

One thought on “Mary Chapin Carpenter sings lies

  1. And yet in the face of all that adversity and challenge you keep running. That’s so encouraging to me! Keep sucking down the water and you’ll breeze right through Saturday’s “little jaunt.” 🙂

Thanks for your encouragement!

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